A former boss once told me that I was designed to be a kept man. Hopefully by a really important gay man whom I am attracted to, no less. That would be a novel situation. Kept man. Of an important man. By day I get to live my life. Mundane. Stressful. Unassuming. Okay fine, those three words don't really describe my day-to-day, but you get my drift. And by night, I go home to this other life of things like my day-to-day, but only more expensive and lavish. Fine. It doesn't have to be lavish. I think the best part lies in the fact that there is a secret life happening on top of my normal one. But then again my bigger boss taught me to marry up. Hence, expensive and lavish are not bad to aspire for. But let's not lose focus. This isn't about being a kept man. Not yet.
Nothing turns me on more than an important man. A man who knows what he wants and grabs it by the balls. Preferably, mine. I like men who know what they are capable of doing and not reserving exercising this power. Men who inspire change. Men who lead rebellion. Men who decide fates. Don't let the poeticism fool you. The kink here lies in influence. Imagine being capable of influencing an influence. Overlapping his power. Making it your own. It's very attractive. Sexy. And… Oops I just got a hard on. Sorry about that.
I consider myself a powerful man. By virtue of beauty being a type of power, I must say I am quite powerful. I attract, manipulate, and seduce the weary important man. It's my nature. It's as if I am built for this kind of kill. It's not easy, but it's a way of life. Survival of the fittest. Of course, there is no perfect hunt. In the course of the chase, injuries are sustained. Some could even be near fatal. It's one thing to get turned on by a man who knows what he wants. But this attraction is also a double-edged sword. There's nothing I hate more than a man who knows what he wants. Especially if he wants me out.
It's one of the toughest battles I've ever faced - a man with a mind that's made up and the power to push that decision to 100% fruition. I have yet to develop a strategy against it. And my power can only go as far as skin-deep. Happened to me three times already. First with my ex. Second with an affair. And most recently with a doctor who played a really high stakes game. I won't go into details, suffice it to say that these instances illustrate defeat. Mine.
The thing with being attracted to important men is that to a certain degree, you'd be bound to a tick-box in their calendar. I never like that feeling. It keeps me at bay and powerless. However it would be enough for me to build tension and unleash an all-out assault when we see each other on said date. And after that, it all becomes fair game.
But why do I like important men? I don't have a definite answer. However I do have a hypothesis. I would like to think of myself as a value proposition. Let people like me. They give me standard like points. Let beautiful people like me. That would give me beautiful like points. Now if important people like me, that gives me important like points. By association, I prefer linkage with importance. Maybe it's a directional thing. Maybe I am gearing up for more important roles. Maybe it will work. Maybe not. But I would much rather have one important person like me over thousands of average Joes.
"By association, I prefer linkage with importance."
ReplyDeleteI think the reasoning behind this is that one feels that if someone as important as this guy could shares a degree, or even better, a resolute portion of his resource (time, attention, power, etc.) on somebody like you makes you affiliated with that same level of importance?
Then again, I remember this important man once told me that we need to have more friends that give us the time of day, and if I can improve on this, e need to have more friends that give us time off their day. :)