Talk to the hand. Or dick.

There is a certain mindset for sauna/steam room encounters. Basically, it's a finite transaction of exchange favors. Minimal conversation. None is ideal. It's all played by looks, stares, and body language. You target. You interact. You deal. You cum. You go. It's pretty mechanical, but enough to satisfy very casual urges. On the rare occasion that conversation takes place, it's when the participants have crossed the border of anonymity over to familiarity. That space between stranger and acquaintance.

I don't have anything against conversation during these encounters. In fact, on the rare times it can happen, it becomes a treat for me, especially if the guy knows how to converse. I've made a few locker room acquaintances this way. Besides, a good conversationalist who also happens to be hot is never a bad thing. Turns me on really. But none of the parameters I presented above prepared me for what happened to me Thursday night at the gym.

Let's cut to the chase. The scenario, I was alone in the steam room when this hottie steps in. After a few body signals, he sits beside me. We inch closer and closer to each other. My lips was one word away from his shoulders. He turns his head to meet my stare. I give him a smile. He smiles back says, "Are you single? I'm looking for a relationship. I don't like playing hanky-panky. You might be here just for flirting. Are you a relationship kind of guy?"

I'm pretty sure he said a few more sentences, but I tuned out. Now that was shock and awe.

Hot, yes. Cute, yes. Strange, very. He wore black hipster undies topped by a red garter strap. His bulge was unmistakably ready. He was in the sauna. Alone with me. At this point several thoughts flooded my mind. Why ruin a good moment for locker room play? Why look for a relationship in a steam room? Why are you hot but not at the same time? What the fuck? Why me? I tried to fathom them. But in the end, my horny switch was turned off. I showered and sought solace and redemption from porn two hours later.

I love my right hand.